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Real Tuesday 8 - 0 Northend Thistle

Formations for the game - genuinely noted down on the back of a beer mat!

The Real reclaimed the Forth/Clyde Cup on Saturday with an ultimately comfortable win over the touring Northend Thistle team.

You would have been brave to predict such a margin of victory ten minutes into the game, as, by then, Lee had had to save a penalty after Sheepy Mike had hacked down one of the speedy Northend strikers as he closed in on goal. Lee did what Lee does, though, and the scoreboard stayed blank - and, mercifully, Mike stayed on the pitch thanks to some Latto leniency!

We were in more bother just two minutes later when Lee picked up a fairly blatant passback; Northend took the resulting free kick quickly, but, luckily for us, blasted it over the bar, with our defence at sixes and sevens.

Things began to calm down thereafter, with Phil and Gormley bossing the midfield and our fullbacks pushing on. It was one of those fullbacks, Biggsy, who opened the scoring on the 15 minute mark, after he floated a lovely cross in from the right touchline; this miraculously evaded everyone in the penalty box and crept in at the top left hand corner of the goal.

We had the ball in the net again just five minutes later, but this was ruled off for a foul on Northend keeper Norm.

There was no such problem five minutes later, though, when Dave swung in a lovely corner from the right hand side and Phil nodded it home from close range at the back post. 2 nil to the Real.

There was no more scoring before the break, but the second half wasn't very old when the Real extended their lead still further. The goal came after Fahd made great ground down the left wing, and swung in a tempting cross that came down right on top of Northend keeper Norman; he got a fist to the ball, but this only served to drop it at the feet of the lurking Calder, who tapped in at the back post.

It's probably fair to say that the fact that Calder had clattered Norman while rushing onto a through ball barely two minutes beforehand may not have helped the keeper's mobility ...

The next goal came from Phil, after good work from veteran striker Dougie, on as a sub for Calder. Phil then had the chance to earn his hat trick when we were awarded a penalty, ten minutes into the second half. He scored it, then was ordered to retake it due to encroachment - he duly blootered the ball over the bar!

The next goal wasn't long in coming, though, as, just three minutes later, Phil lobbed a lovely ball over the top of the Northend defence. Dave ran through and finished nicely, one on one with the keeper.

Phil was involved in the Real's sixth goal, making good ground up the middle of the park before playing in Gary Lees down the left hand channel. Gary took a touch, then slotted a lovely shot past the keeper into the right hand side of the goal.

Calder claimed the last two goals. I'd love to tell you more about them, but can't, as I was playing right back for Northend at that point! My replacement note taker - Callum (AKA Little Bill) - also came on as a sub towards the end of the game, replacing Biggsy at right back for the Real.


Match Stats

Result Won 8-0
Sequence 1-0, 2-0 (half time), 3-0, 4-0, 5-0, 6-0, 7-0, 8-0

Will Biggart, Phil Robson 2, Andrew Calder 3, Dave Rolland, Gary Lees




Hearl; Lees, F Campbell, Boyle, Biggart; Khammal, Robson, Gormley, Hare; Rolland, Calder

Subs Young, Anderson, B McNie, C McNie
Referee Brian Latto
Attendance 1 (Mrs Wiggy)

Good performances from a lot of the boys, with Mike and Fergal putting in a good shift in central defence (after a shaky start) and Gormley slotting back into our central midfield like he'd never been away.

But there can only be one winner - Phil Robson. The Northend boys were raving about him after the game, and with good reason - he was basically unplayable today, constantly finding space for himself and spraying passes to our wide men and strikers. He even copped a bloody nose from a stray elbow during the game - what a legend!

Match photos available here