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Bill McNie
| Nickname | Octopus, Macca, The White Darcheville, Billy Big Balls, Tinkerman, Spongebob Squareheid, Billy Bob |
| Date Of Birth | 6/10/67 |
| Place Of Birth | Edinburgh |
| Big Team | Rangers |
| Wee Team | Greenock Morton Hibs |
| Favourite Player Ever | Brian Laudrup |
| Position | Defender or keeper (when not rooting about in the bushes behind the goal or fending off neds) |
| Distinguishing Features | Obscure foreign football tops, too many limbs, the biggest heid in Texas (official), the fattest face in Balerno (official), scabby goalie gloves 'smelling of AIDS' (© Greg) |
| Lookalike | Ted McMinn (coordination), Jean-Claude Darcheville (arse), Richard Dunne (finesse), Bobby Williamson (coupon), Subbuteo goalie (handling), Buster Gonad (plums), Rev. Richard Coles (everything!) |
| Battlecry | Generally something about communication, with 'TALK TO
HIM!' and 'GET THE COMMS UP!' being particularly common
howls. Also rather fond of a 'Good arse!' |
| Claim To Fame | Once scored two goals for the Real in the same 11s game. And has played 11s with Fish out of Marillion. |
| Road To The Real | Worked with Finlay Scott at Bank Of Scotland in Sighthill |
| Debut Date |
Some time around 1997 |
| 5s Appearances in 2004 | 39 out of 41 (95% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2005 | 41 out of 45 (91% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2006 | 40 out of 43 (93% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2007 | 39 out of 42 (93% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2008 | 41 out of 48 (85%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2009 | 33 out of 46 (72%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2010 | 38 out of 43 (88%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2011 | 44 out of 49 (90%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2012 | 44 out of 49 (90% - highest) |
| 8s Appearances in 2013 | 43 out of 48 (90%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2014 | 42 out of 50 (84%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2015 | 31 out of 51 (61%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2016 | 45 out of 50 (90% - highest) |
| 8s Appearances in 2017 | 39 out of 49 (80%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2018 | 38 out of 46 (68%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2019 | 40 out of 50 (80%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2020 | 15 out of 18 (83%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2021 | 27 out of 32 (84%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2022 | 41 out of 47 (87%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2023 | 44 out of 47 (94% - highest) |
| 8s Appearances in 2024 | 39 out of 49 (80%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2025 | x out of 50 (x%) |
| Total Appearances | 803 (highest) |