| Nickname |
Octopus, Macca, The White Darcheville, Billy Big Balls,
Tinkerman, Spongebob Squareheid, Billy Bob |
| Date Of Birth |
6/10/67 |
| Place Of Birth |
Edinburgh |
| Big Team |
Rangers |
| Wee Team |
Greenock
Morton Hibs |
| Favourite Player Ever |
Brian Laudrup |
| Position |
Defender or keeper (when not rooting about in the bushes
behind the goal or fending off neds) |
| Distinguishing Features |
Obscure foreign football tops, too many limbs, the
biggest heid in Texas (official), the fattest face in
Balerno (official), scabby goalie gloves 'smelling of
AIDS' (© Greg) |
| Lookalike |
Ted McMinn (coordination), Jean-Claude Darcheville
(arse), Richard Dunne (finesse), Bobby Williamson
(coupon), Subbuteo goalie (handling), Buster Gonad
(plums), Rev. Richard Coles (everything!) |
| Battlecry |
Generally something about communication, with 'TALK TO
HIM!' and 'GET THE COMMS UP!' being particularly common
howls.
Also rather fond of a 'Good arse!' |
| Claim To Fame |
Once scored two goals for the Real in the same 11s game.
And has played 11s with Fish out of Marillion. |
| Road To The Real |
Worked with Finlay Scott at Bank Of Scotland in
Sighthill |
Debut Date
|
Some time around 1997 |
| 5s Appearances in 2004 |
39 out of 41 (95% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2005 |
41 out of 45 (91% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2006 |
40 out of 43 (93% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2007 |
39 out of 42 (93% - highest) |
| 5s Appearances in 2008 |
41 out of 48 (85%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2009 |
33 out of 46 (72%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2010 |
38 out of 43 (88%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2011 |
44 out of 49 (90%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2012 |
44 out of 49 (90% - highest) |
| 8s Appearances in 2013 |
43 out of 48 (90%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2014 |
42 out of 50 (84%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2015 |
31 out of 51 (61%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2016 |
45 out of 50 (90% - highest) |
| 8s Appearances in 2017 |
39 out of 49 (80%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2018 |
38 out of 46 (68%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2019 |
40 out of 50 (80%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2020 |
15 out of 18 (83%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2021 |
27 out of 32 (84%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2022 |
41 out of 47 (87%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2023 |
44 out of 47 (94% - highest) |
| 8s Appearances in 2024 |
39 out of 49 (80%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2025 |
x out of 50 (x%) |
| Total Appearances |
803 (highest) |