Missing 5s due to an unspecified operation where
the sun don't shine.
Getting beaten up by neds on North Bridge for being 'too posh'.
Getting his butler to do his pre match poo for him.
Being the first Real player to have a contract taken out on him
by the Saughton mini-Mafia.
Missing one Tuesday game because he was playing tennis at Wimbledon.
Oh, and the fact that T In The Park used to be held in his back