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Martin Thomson
| Nickname | Blunt Trauma (after a 50/50 in the box with Martin Daw - big Martin came off worst by a considerable margin!) |
| Date Of Birth | 20/11/80 |
| Place Of Birth | Greenock |
| Big Team | Manchester United |
| Wee Team | Greenock Morton |
| Favourite Player Ever | Ryan Giggs or Morton goalkeeping legend David 'The Cat' Wylie |
| Position | Only ever played in goal for us, but apparently pretty decent outfield, too |
| Distinguishing Features | Incessant west coast banter, black eye, diminutive stature |
| Lookalike | Hubby Greg reckons 'Robbie Williams crossed with Jared Leto' - we're going to go for a young Al Pacino |
| Battlecry |
Listen out for his trademark 'Come tae F*CK!', typically deployed when he is questioning a refereeing decision |
| Claim To Fame |
Once played in goals in front of Graeme Souness, who dubbed him 'the world's smallest keeper' whilst commentating. First Real player to earn a living killing vampires. |
| 8s Appearances in 2015 | 27 out of 51 (53%) |
| 8s Appearances in 2016 | 10 out of 50 (20%) |