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Ryan McCaul
| Nickname | Bucko, Johnny Cakes |
| Date Of Birth | 4/1/84 |
| Place Of Birth | Edmonton, Alberta |
| Big Team | Liverpool |
| Wee Team | Celtic |
| Favourite Player Ever | Roy Keane |
| Position |
Right wing |
| Distinguishing Features | Largely impenetrable Irish accent, spiky hair, ability to hare about the pitch all night, lack of cash in his pockets |
| Lookalike | He says 'Chuck Norris' - we say 'We'll get back to you on this' |
| Battlecry | Will let you know once the codebreakers at Bletchley Park have cracked his accent |
| Claim To Fame | First Irishman to play for the Real - or does Conor Donovan count? Also the biggest Ball Fund debtor in the history of the Real. |
| 5s Appearances in 2006 | 24 out of 43 (56%) |
| 5s Appearances in 2007 | 32 out of 42 (76%) |
| 5s Appearances in 2008 | 1 out of 48 (2%) |